Natural Attraction

The other day, someone reminded me of something my mother told me when I initially went natural. She disapproved of my choice because "no man thinks that natural hair is attractive."

I'm glad I brushed off her spicy West-Indian old woman comment because regardless of her length, Sheeba is a flame that many moths are attracted to.

I've often referred to Sheeba as my crown & glory, and apparently now she's my wing(wo)man??

Many of you are not ready for this post, but I'm gonna take it there anyways. Indulge me for a moment or two...

Over the past four years I've silently conducted a social experiment with my hair, both with the parentals and with men/women. With each round of testing, the results have been the same: my hair (in her natural state) attracts a variety men.

Sheeba . be . pullin .

Not that I ever had a problem in that area, but it amazes me how many men (of all backgrounds) I either catch staring at me or are bold enough to approach me whenever I unleash Sheeba.

I have had men compliment my brush cut, coil a tendril in my TWA, and sniff my Coco Castor scented hair during my commute to work. I have had others ask to touch her. I've even had someone ask to lay in my hair (I can't make this up).

...I don't even want to get into the reaction I get from my larger-than-life-blow-outs (a la Diana Ross in Mahogany). Blow-outs seem to send them into a tizzy. I once fielded a scalp massage from an Italian who wanted to confirm whether or not my hair was real. I'm not going to lie... I enjoyed it (don't judge me), but it made me seriously begin to question why men from all walks of life were amazed by my natural hair.

So after several stares and similar reactions, I began asking these complete strangers why they were so fascinated by Sheeba and the most common reply I received was how confident I appeared in all my kinky-coily glory.

The odd thing is I overstand their reasoning. My closest friends will tell you that I am a quintessential introvert, but when my hair is freshly styled and looking lovely...

hon-TEEE, I'm as bold as they come. It wasn't Kelis' milkshake that brought all those boys to the yard.

I was watching this Youtube documentary on Jewish clothing customs and one of the women interviewed said something that resonated with me..[her] concept of beauty is often associated with [her] hair, the same truth is evident for me. My hair is my energy, my beauty, my aura; I thrive when she thrives and vice-versa.

You know how superhero's have theme songs that play when they enter a scene? That's how I am with Sheeba. When my hair is coiffed and micro-waves laid, I feel beyond beautiful, I'm  invincible. A good hairstyle will have me feeling celebratory. It's the same 'I can have all that' feeling I get from putting on a well-tailored suit and power Louboutin Rolando pumps for a presentation or interview. The world is my oyster when my hair looks fab.

Now don't think I have self-esteem issues. I'm just as confident when Sheeba's having a bad day, it's just magnified when I have her freshly done. When Sheeba was first born, I routinely got my eyebrows and hair shaped every Tuesday. For me, freshly done eyebrows and hair uplift my spirit. In fact, the other day my twist out was on life support so I finger detangled it, put it into a high bun, and went to get my eyebrows threaded. I was the epitome of casual, and still had someone compliment me on my way home...

My final thoughts on all this is that there are some men who are attracted to a certain level of confidence in a woman. Wearing ones hair in it's natural state and being comfortable with ones natural appearance is as confident as one can be. And when someone is comfortable in their natural beauty (no preservatives, no additives, 100% au naturel), there's nothing you can tell them to make them think otherwise. So if you're 2 days or 2 years natural, or even if you've faithfully had a relaxer for a lifetime; wear your mane proudly, I guarantee that you'll feel amazing and as a result field a few compliment/ stares from an admirer.


Now silky Sheeba fields more compliments from women
*Evelyn side-eye*

.... working on that social experiment next.

Happy (Showing) & Growing...

Get Excited!

About a month ago, I made a request for volunteers to try my infused Castor Oil growth aide. After a few minor tweaks to the recipe, I'm happy to say that we're ready to send out samples.

Thanks so much for your patience and an even bigger thank you for being a volunteer. 

It's my hope that my sprout oil helps promote growth as it has for me. 

Now get growing!

Sheeba

Henna pt. deux

Yesterday I posted part one of my henna process. Today's post shall outline the application phase.

By now your henna should be mixed, and have released some dye. You'll notice pools of red liquid forming on the top layer and your henna should be a darker shade at this point. Before applying it to your hair, add 2 tbsps of honey and mix.

You will also need to cover your application area. I need a mirror, so I use my bathroom. Since I've done this a few times before, all I did to prep the area was lay an old towel on the floor. If your sink and counter top are white or light, you'll want to cover those with newspaper as well. Better safe than sorry cause henna does not wash completely out of grout, tile, or carpet.

After prepping your area, you'll need to prep your hair. I finger detangle and then section Sheeba into 5-6 parts using clips to hold each section into place. I then apply vaseline to the perimeter of my hair, ears, and neck. I even apply into the inside of my ear and all of my neck. As you can see, the henna gets smudged everywhere, and the vaseline protects my skin from being stained.


Now to apply. I separate each large section into about 3-4 smaller pieces a I apply the henna. The trick to this step is to scoop a small amount with your hand as you 'smush' it through your hair. It's easier to control smaller portions of the mixture than a handful which will inevitably end up on the floor or down your shirt. I begin in the back and work my way forward.







Once all the sections are complete, I take the remaining henna and apply it to my ends and then 'massage' the rest into the top layer of hair.







Secure you hair on the top of your hair with pins and cover with a plastic bag or shower cap. I then cover my head with a turbie-twist, or a towel you don't mind getting dirty. I like to let my henna sit for 6-8 hours.

There are two methods you can use to wash your hair:

1. The Dunk Method: fill your tub, sink, or bucket with warm water, and 'dunk' your head; or
2. The Rinse Method: place head under running water (either sink or shower) and rinse the mixture out.

Either method takes time, I spent about 45 minutes in the shower just rinsing my hair until the water dripping from my ends were a light red. At this point I added some V05 Chamomile Tea conditioner to my mane and squeezed it out.  You'll want to use a moisturizing conditioner and NOT a protein one. (Tresseme Naturals, and Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose also work for this step).

Continue to apply and squeeze out conditioner until it is clear and your hair is henna free. Detangle if needed, finger combing my hair prior to applying the henna helped, so I only had to use my Jilbere comb once and did not need to use my Denman.

Seal and style as usual once done. If you have long hair, plan to be in the shower for 1.5-2 hours... It takes a while to get the henna out of Sheeba, I tell no lie.

As you can see, my hair has a subtle reddish tint to it, and a bit more curl definition than before. Sheeba is ridiculously soft and moisturized now, which was my primary objective when I embarked on this henna journey. Because winter can be harsh on my hair, I tend to henna in the cooler months, when the air is drier, just to keep my situation soft and growing.

I'd love to hear your henna exploits, and if you haven't tried a henna treatment...what are you waiting for?? Your hair will thank you.

Happy Growing!

It's Time for a New Look

Finally bought and registered a domain for Sheeba. I like to treat her to nice things sometimes.

Speaking of treating Sheeba, it's time for my yearly henna treatment. So I decided to post a pic-tutorial for everyone who has ever considered applying henna to their coils but didn't know where to begin. The first time I henna'd my hair, it was touch and go, but the results were lovely. I did - however - end up with my tub looking like the river Nile.

I hope this pic-torial reduces the level of fear many have as it pertains to using henna. Although there are a few moving parts to this process, it really is quite simple once you've planned and prepared for it. Depending on you hair length, allot 1-3 days from start (mixing) to finish (rinsing out). A shorter (and a bit more expensive) alternative would be to purchase Henna blocks from Lush. My only hang-up with using this product is it doesn't seem to be pure henna (some variations have coffee, lemon, indigo, and etc.) I want to condition my hair, not dye it as this product does.

Throughout the natural community, you'll hear people speaking of the many benefits of henna. It's ultra conditioning, strengthens strands, soothes the scalp, and even colors gray hair. I love henna because it makes my hair uber soft. The only downside for me is the change in curl pattern that occurs. But it's something I can live with since they are more defined as a result.

I mixed my henna on Friday night, let the dye release all Saturday, applied it Sunday afternoon, and rinsed it out Sunday night. I basically follow CurlyNikki's process, it's easy and broken down in stages. You'll need the following:

• gloves, newspaper, plastic bowl, shower cap, Vaseline, and a shirt you don't care for
• 150-200 g body grade henna
• 2 cups boiling water
• 4 Green tea bags
• 2 tbsp honey

First gather your ingredients, I like to have everything in the same area to reduce the amount of mess and potential discoloration.

Next, sift your henna into bowl. You'll thank me later for this step when you're not pulling henna grit from your hair a week after application.

While sifting, heat water and allow tea bags to seep for 10-15 minutes. I filled my sauce pan for the tea, but only used 2 cups for my henna mixture. I drank the rest.

Slowly mix the hot tea mixture into your henna. You can use a plastic spoon for this step, I happened to have a good spoon on hand. The henna doesn't stain silverware, so no need to panic.

This is what your mixed henna should look like. I compare it to mashed potatoes or fudge brownie mix, you don't want it too thin because it may make the application process messy.

Real body-grade henna will release some dye quickly, so be sure to wash it off your hand or stained counter tops immediately. You can see here how my finger turned orange after cleaning the spoon.

I prefer to let my henna sit for 24 hours before application. This will allow the dye to release and the henna to have a more conditioning effect on your strands. Place your bowl in a warm place (like on the heater). Your henna will get darker as the dye releases. (I'm also working on a few art pieces for my linesisters, hence why my heater is in multipurpose use at the moment). You can also turn on your oven and place the bowl on the stove to heat it up.

 

Part 2: The Application Process shall be posted soon.

Happy Growing!

Two Things

I've been busy doing hair consultations and cooking up all types of natural hair oil deliciousness. Mea culpa. Mea culpa for abandoning you like this. I'll do better.

I wanted to touch on something that I have come to terms with as a naturalista.

I will always have dandruff and split ends.

The split ends I can deal with. Using the 'search and destroy' method soothes my minor OCD and is oddly therapeutic when combined with a good Netflix marathon of HIMYM, New Girl, or Orange is the New Black.

Dandruff on the other hand will continue to annoy me. I have tried basically everything under the sun:

Dermatologist prescribed medicated shampoo and gel? Ugh. Yes.

Over the counter cleansers and treatments? Yup.

Coconut Oil? Love it, but no dice.

I've also tried teatreeoilapplecidervinegarrinsesblacksoaphoneyhennaneemshikakaipaste and justabouteverythingundermymothersbathroomsink.

Sadly, it all begins to run together after some point.

Recently, out of frustration, I whipped mango butter and some moisturizing oils I had on hand. The result: less flakes, some itching, and a semi happy scalp. 

The verdict is still out on this blend, but I think it's working. The true test will be if it survives this winter dryness. 

I'd love to hear what works for you. Send me an email sosheeba@gmail.com, I'm willing to try anything (that I haven't) at this point. 

Happy growing. 

Winterizing

It's getting cold. Time to winterize my hair. For those of you who live in more tropical environments, be glad that you can use the same products regardless of the season and have the same results.

Up north, where cold weather takes your life and hair hostage, you have to rotate your products. 

Realtors live by location, and naturalists live by rotation ... corny? Yeah I know, but it made me laugh nonetheless. 

Go ahead and hide your humectants, light oils and butters. It's time to break out the heavier moisturizers and butters. 

Cold weather, while great for wearing a press, can be drying and harsh on your strands. Being that the air is dry, your hair is susceptible to the same condition. 

One thing I notice during winter months is how much dandruff I develop. It's cold outside (0 humidity) and keeping my heat at 80 (I like it hot) makes the air in my house dry as well. So to combat dry scalp and dry ends here are a few adjustments I make to my routine:

1. Hair Grease- I feel like I just cursed. But before you nail me to the wall for this tidbit, let me explain. I 'grease' my scalp weekly and post wash with a pomade that I threw together of mango butter and  moisturizing oils.

Speaking of things I 'throw together,' I recently did something scary. I made a test batch of my infused hair growth castor oil and am sending it out to friends and colleagues for market research. I'm interested in finding out what makes Sheeba grow like she does and then sharing it with the world. I know sooooo many women who have approached me over the years, inquiring about my regimen, growth aids used, etc. So in a few months, I'll know if its the oil, my herbal tea (batch coming soon email sosheeba@gmail.com if you'd like to part of my test group), or mummy's good genes making Sheeba grow so long.

2. Hot oil treatments - help keep your scalp moisturized. An added boost would be to steam your hair weekly to penetrate the hair shaft. 

3. Shun the wash and go or frequent washing completely - this may sound counter intuitive, but wet hair= sick and I don't have time for pneumonia. Honestly since I love hiding my hair, I notice that Sheeba grows more when left to her own devices. 

4. Be careful of winter hats - I have big hair, so berets and such never work for me, but fuzzy ear warmers do the trick. The downside to wearing these cute creations is the havoc they wreak on my edges. If you are going to wear wool or acrylic hats/ accessories, be sure to line them with a satin scarf/ bonnet, or else you can kiss your edges goodbye.

Hopefully this winter will be mild and not produce any (snow) flakes.

Happy growing. 

Survival of the Silky?

It’s been a while. My apologies, but summer and its golden rays of splendor have kept me busy enjoying warm weather, road trips, and outdoor happy hours.

Many things have changed since my last post, and may things remain the same.

I’m still natural; still lovehating my hair (yes, I know that’s not a word, but I use it anyways); and still getting phone calls from my mother regarding Sheeba.

Which spurred this post.

Mummy called me the other day to discuss her views on Sheryl Underwood’s claims that natural hair was ‘nasty,’ and while my mother is the type of person to say crass things, and then concede that she doesn’t include my hair in such remarks, she still feels some type of way about kinky coily hair…

anywhoo

During our conversation, she talked about many of the natural hair news that has occurred over the past few months (school policies banning afro puffs, natural students being teased, Sheryl’s comment, and etc.) and then told me that she hopes I relax my (future) daughters hair to shield her from such a harsh life.

[Insert flashback vignette] My mother relaxed my hair when I was six. Before that I had gone to a Haitian preschool with children who ‘looked’ like me, but once we moved to the suburbs I got relaxed and amassed a collection of those white ‘Just for Me’ cassette tapes (reach back to 1990 for that relic). My mother didn’t relax my hair because it was unmanageable; she did it so that my sister and I would ‘blend’ in with our American counterparts.

So I began to wonder… how many other moms hold this Darwinistic view towards relaxers? My mother made it seem like relaxing our hair increased our survival rate more than it reduced the amount of time she had to spend styling our hair. I don’t plan on being that type of mother. In fact, I don’t plan on relaxing my daughters hair at all. Now if she wants to wear her hair straight, we can discuss non-chemical alternatives, but relaxers shall be a non-factor until she’s grown.

Sheryl's comment struck a nerve with me because deep down there's a seed of self hate planted within her. Someone told her many mango seasons ago that her natural hair was nasty, causing that view to take root and grow. That comment was the fruit of that planted seed. And while her apology was necessary, it wasn't sincere. She may have killed that 'nasty natural tree' but the root hasn't been eradicated. I'm sure under those many weaves and wigs she wears is a head of such nasty hair being forced into submission by chemicals and heat. And if she is natural, (sigh) then I think it's time for some much needed self-reflection and acceptance. 

I normally rant on and on about my hair and stay out of social discussions, but one has to wonder how many children are picked on because of their natural hair, and what the implications will be later down the road as it relates to their self-esteem. How many will grow up to love their curls and how many will grow up to detest them? My heart hurts for those who will develop self-image issues. Although so many women have embraced their naturalness, Underwood’s remarks provide for a clear reminder that in our society only the silkiest survive.