A Natural Misunderstanding

Recently, I discovered Jelly Belly 'Bean Boozled' candies. The premise is that the box has jelly beans in various sweet and (un)savory flavors, but similar colors. So a black jelly bean may be licorice OR skunk spray. The only way to find out is to take a bite....I wasn't too lucky and ate the skunk spray bean instead of the licorice. Not even brushing my teeth helped remove the taste.

In some ways, maneuvering from relaxed to natural can be the same way. You know what jelly bean you want (natural), but from the outside looking in, things are not always as they appear. I remember wanting to go natural because it would mean healthier tresses (semi-lie), be less time consuming (even bigger lie), and cheaper (Get thee behind me, Satan).

For one, natural hair does not equate healthier hair. I know plenty of naturals suffering from heat damage (been there), dandruff (done that), and split ends (got the T-Shirt), all ailments that have plagued Sheeba prior to me switching my hair regimen. Healthy natural hair takes time and care. The same can be said for relaxed hair. The longer my hair grows, the more I try to maintain healthy ends, moisturize my scalp, and limit the amount of heat applied to it. Sorry to break it to you, but natural healthy hair does not come naturally (pun intended).

Another misnomer is that natural hair is less time consuming. If I ever find the person who began this myth, I have a few 'choice' words to share with them because I  never spent this much time doing my hair when I had a relaxer. My mother took me to the salon for my 1st relaxer when I was 6, and I recall spending every other Saturday morning in the salon with my sister getting our manes coiffed. I didn't mind the four hour process and was even elated when I was finally able to sit under the dryer without the stack of phonebooks to prop me up.

Nowadays, I dread going to salons and (sometimes) even doing my own hair. From wash to style, it can take me up to 6 hours to tame Sheeba....and that's on a weekly basis. If I am applying henna, taking down braids, or twists, it can be a two day -over the weekend- process to wash, condition, and detangle my hair, all that work to have my arms give out and end up in a pineapple on top of my head. Natural hair -mine at least- is not less time consuming. Yes, I am no longer bound to my hairdressers schedule, but I treat my hair delicately and therefore must spend more time ensuring that every knot is untangled, and every section is combed through.

Now the biggest lie I've heard regarding being natural is that it is cheaper that being relaxed.

I'm here to douse some Holy Water on that myth.

If you get your hair washed every week and relaxed every 4 weeks, then yes, being relaxed may be more costly than being natural. But if not, you relaxed sisters may be coming out on top. I was a product junkie, like many nubian naturals, so I would spend anywhere from $50-$100 a year on products, just to determine if my hair liked said product. Here's a summary of what a year of maintaining Sheeba looks like:

Service	Cost	Frequency	Total
Products	$50-$100		$50-$100
Trim/ Deep Condition	$45	4x	$180
Senegalese Twists	$200	1x	$200
Length-Check Press	$60	1x	$60
Random 2-strand Updo	$100-$120	3x	$300-$360
Protective Sew-In	$200 (hair) + $150 (install)	2x	$350 (1st install) + $150 (2nd install) = $500
Total			$1,290 - $1,400

Now lets compare being natural to my relaxed Miami & Dominican blow-out life:

Service	Cost	Frequency	Total
Products	$20-$50		$20-$50
Wash and Blow-out	$30	26x	$780
Relaxer	$45	6x	$270
Total			$1,070 - $1,100

I'm spending between $220 - $300 more on my hair now than when I was relaxed.

Now after shedding some (personal) light onto the natural misunderstanding, you may be wondering whether or not it's worth it to go and/or stay natural. And without any hesitation, I would say a thousand times yes.

Yes, I miss salon chatter and yes, it may be more work, more time, and more costly, but being able to have the flexibility of wearing my hair fro'd out, kinky, curly, loc'd, or bone straight is something that I would never give up. Not now. Not ever.

Like the famous work of natural hair art says: My only regret in being natural, is that I didn't do it sooner...

That's so (un)Professional

One thing that I have noticed in my nappturality, is how people always ask me how I'm going to wear my hair for a certain event.

In my former life, I would simply head to the salon for a blow-out and strut my bouncing, pin-curled mane to the function. Nowadays, things do not flow as easily. I fret about my hair, and more specifically, how people will view my hairstyle.

You see, I have this paranoid notion that Sheeba - in all her glory - offends some people.

I didn't develop this paranoia on my own. I once worked in an office with several minority women. Some loved my hair, while others thought it was 'unprofessional.' One day, I decided to wear a blow-out in preparation for a photo shoot, and unknowingly rubbed one of my more 'seasoned' coworkers the wrong way.

While preparing my lunch in the office kitchen, said coworker approached me, and asked if it was really 'necessary' to wear my hair 'that way' and then went on to voice her opinion on how natural hair was 'unprofessional.'

At first I was stunned, then her comment triggered the memory of my mothers negative reaction to my choice to go natural. My shock turned into pity. I was sad that she voiced her opinion in a room full of 'others', sad that she thought natural hair was unprofessional, and truly sad at the level of self-hate she had for her own natural appearance.

Now I was raised to respect my elders, but she pressed a button that had no emergency shut-off valve, and I had to tell her about herself. I calmly said that I was sorry she thought natural hair was 'unprofessional.' Then asked whether she was upset over how long/big my hair was OR whether she was upset over the fact that chemicals had ravaged her hair to the point that she didn't even have enough for a pony-tail. I left the room after telling her that I thought being bald-headed was unprofessional as well.

I don't regret my reaction, and I never will. If someone were to repeat the same phrase, they would get the same reply.

My crown is my glory. There is nothing unprofessional about natural hair that is coiffed appropriately. I am no longer as paranoid over how people view my hairstyle choices as I once was, but it is something I struggle with every now and then.

My mother has since warmed up to Sheeba and always tells me not to look like a 'fuzzy peach.' If I have a wedding, conference, interview, or speaking engagement, my hair will always be in a neat style whether that be a twisted up-do, press, or sleek bun.

Now if I am in a more casual environment, Sheeba may be in a twist-out or a pineapple.

My experience has been that 'professional' hair is what you make of it. As long as you're not defending your dissertation or presenting your deliverable to a client looking like Celie from the Color Purple, your hairstyle is your choice.

So next time you have a (semi) professional or formal event to attend, and panic over how to style your mane, relax....choose a style you love and let your confidence shine.

Castor Oil : My Cure-All

I grew up in a West Indian household, where regardless of the illness or issue, castor oil was used as the remedy.

Cold/ cough/ congestion? Castor oil rub down

Scrapped knee? Castor oil and a Band-Aid

Stopped up? Spoonful of castor oil

Blemish? Q-Tip dab of castor oil

Broken limb? drop of castor oil and your bones fuse back together...
Ok, I've taken it too far, but you get my drift.

Castor oil (or L'huile Maskreti as Haitians call it) flowed like water in my household. So much so, that I began to resent it. If I was sick NO ONE knew. I feared the l'huile rub down and sweat box sessions commonly used to break fevers. It got so bad, that I began to hide the bottles of l'huile that my mother had delivered to the house regularly like a Natural Bundle Kit.

It.was.bad.

So what happened? What shifted my disdain for the l'huile?

Sheeba.

She has a chronic illness...split ends. And I realized that if I wanted to grow my hair long, I would have to work double time in keeping my ends healthy (retention) while keeping my scalp healthy (growth).

Who has time for that?

I'm half serious when I ask that question, but in all honesty, there are no 'quick' fixes to long hair growth. It's a marathon, not a sprint. BUT I have found a 'Gatorade' boost through castor oil. See, I figured that if I can grow my hair at a faster rate than the damage split ends cause, I'd come out on top. And I have. I no longer worry about my ends as much as I did before. I search and destroy split ends every now and then, get a trim twice a year, and seal my ends with some l'huile. That.is.it.

Now before you go clean out the shelves at CVS, I don't use just ANY castor oil. I make my own black castor oil using a mix of ingredients that have aided in my hair growth along the way, specifically

biotin, peppermint, and cayenne pepper.

Sounds crazy right? I thought the same until I had to get a press in the fall. There are several recipes on the internets. I recommend doing some research and adjusting to find the right mix for your hair growth needs. I will send a bottle of my mix to one randomly picked reader. Either leave a comment, or email SoSheeba@gmail.com . The winner will be picked on May 24th, 2013 - one week from today.

I can honestly say that the l'huile has made Sheeba who she is today. It thickened my hair, repaired my lost edges, and keeps her ends moisturized.

Has your hair been unruly? Missing a certain 'je ne sais quoi'? Try a castor hot oil treatment, or a castor oil deep conditioner. Your hair will feel stronger, look shinier, and improve in it's overall health.

I have also used regular l'huile to wash my face (have you fallen out yet?). It's called the Oil Cleansing Method, and has worked to balance out my oily skin and combats dryness in the winter months. Use at your own risk though, it is not for everyone.

It's odd how I've gone from hiding from the l'huile to ordering bottles of it to ensure that I have some in stock at all times. My mother knew what she was doing when she would reach for the l'huile. It just took me a while to see the light. I now use l'huile to cleanse my face, grow my hair, and cure my colds...many of the things I ran and hid from as a child.

In the words of my beloved's mother, "when you know better, you do better." Castor oil has truly become my cure-all... I hope it becomes yours as well.

Have you seen my edges?

I have to admit that I am still 'learning' my hair. When I first began this journey everyone told me that I could 'tame' my hair with certain products and styles. But in the end, Sheeba ended up taming me.

Having long natural hair is like meditating or having a new born (stay with me I'm going somewhere with this). There are times where I sit in silence and let my hair tell me what it wants, whether it's rest, moisture, clarifying, or freedom, being natural - like being a parent or meditation guru - requires the ability to listen and take heed.

I say all this because I'd like to share a secret...

I am scared of my hair.

The longer Sheeba grows, the more I worry about caring for her. So to cope with my fear, I hide my hair.

For the first year of her life I would religiously rock my hair out, but then Sheeba began to grow and get rowdy. Dry and split ends were her way of telling me that my puffs and blow-outs were not working out. So after some research I discovered protective styling.

I would wear my Janet Jackson (not so) Poetic Justice braids or kinky twists for 3-4 months at a time. Thinking that giving my hair such an extended rest was helping reverse the dry, split ends. In the end I did more harm than good. I wore styles that created a lot of tension on the perimeter of my hair. I did not wash my hair regularly, nor did I trim my hair in between styles.

That whole first year of 'growth' was negated by my use of protective styling. How ironic.

After growing back my edges and cutting off my damaged ends, I became well versed in hiding my hair the proper way,which has resulted in Sheeba's growth and retention.

Here are a few gems pertaining to protective styling that I've gleaned along the way:




Enjoy -QS

The Drill

Over the past few years, I have developed a product junkie habit. I have closets, drawers, and cabinets filled with  oils, treatments, conditioners, and shampoos. You name it, I have (tried) it.

It wasn't until a recent move that I realized my 'problem' and decided to do something about it. I no longer use commercial hair care products. For the past year my motto has been if I can not eat it*, I will not use it in my hair. *Not everything I use is edible, BUT it is in it's natural state (i.e. black castor oil, shea butter, and etc.)

I'm sure you have tons of questions, many people do when I reveal my secret. So here's the drill...

Like many nubian nappturals, I section my hair into 4-8 twists to make detangling bearable. My upper arm strength has greatly increased as a result of washing and detangling Sheeba...she's a beast but I won't let that stop me from taking care of her.

I pre-poo my hair with oil. Whatever I happen to have on hand is what I use. Recently it's been coconut oil, but most often, I use olive or almond oil.

To wash, I hop in the shower and grab either diluted baking soda or my coconut milk and castile soap mix. Now here is where I get 'told' that castile soap is not edible. You are correct. BUT the castile soap I used is derived from olive oil, and therefore allowable in my book. You can try it out and discover it's gloriousness here.

If I use my coco-castile mixture, I do not condition. Sheeba always feels moisturized and nourished afterwards. If I have build-up and decide to use diluted baking soda instead, I may whip up an avocado hair mask or honey concoction, and break out my BeHuetiful steamer and sit for a few minutes.

After rinsing, I may or may not use an ACV rinse. I love/ hate Apple Cider Vinegar. It works wonders for my dry scalp, but dislike the 'squeak' effect it has on my hair.

*sigh* I'm almost done... promise

I plop my hair when done and, use the L-O-C method to moisturize my hair post washing.
L - liquid, always water
O - oil of my choice (olive, castor, almond, jojoba, etc.)
C - cream, I love Shea butter but also use mango and illipe butters as well

After I complete moisturizing, I usually style with two-strand twists and pin it up into a bun, or pull it up into a pineapple and do something cute with the ends to protect them.

Did I mention that it take 3-4 hours to do my hair? Or that I wash her on a weekly basis? Oh... (that's another post).

Next up is protective styling, and how I learned the hard way about it's importance.

-QS

Will You Cut my Hair?

My path to 'nappturality' may have been the shortest ever. My last relaxer was in August of 2008 before moving out-of-state for grad school. Now, like many of my relaxed friends, I usually went in for a touch up every 6 to 8 weeks. Having moved to a new city - where Dominican salons and blow-outs were nonexistent - I made a few inquiries among my classmates and found a decent salon.

So I called to make an appointment, asked how much a relaxer and deep condition would cost and was informed that my services would cost me $125. Amazed, I declined, hung up, and decided to go natural. 

I transitioned for about 5 months, not because I wanted to, but because no one would cut my relaxed hair for me.

Random barber laughed at my request, and then told me that he did not want to be responsible for my meltdown post BC.

My sorority sister dyed my hair and then declined cutting it.

Finally, while on vacation in London, another sorority sister obliged and set me free from salon and relaxer bondage.

Sheeba (what I affectionately call my hair) was born on March 13, 2009 and measured a whopping 1 inch.

In the past 4 years I have developed a love/hate relationship with my natural hair, and have done everything possible to it. But despite my (sometimes) poor treatment, she continues to grow, so in her 4th year of life I've decided to share her with the world.

Over the next year I plan to share my routine, favorite 'products', and all things natural. Like Sheeba, I hope my posts (whether good or bad) keep you coming back.

Peace,
Queen Sheeba