Survival of the Silky?

It’s been a while. My apologies, but summer and its golden rays of splendor have kept me busy enjoying warm weather, road trips, and outdoor happy hours.

Many things have changed since my last post, and may things remain the same.

I’m still natural; still lovehating my hair (yes, I know that’s not a word, but I use it anyways); and still getting phone calls from my mother regarding Sheeba.

Which spurred this post.

Mummy called me the other day to discuss her views on Sheryl Underwood’s claims that natural hair was ‘nasty,’ and while my mother is the type of person to say crass things, and then concede that she doesn’t include my hair in such remarks, she still feels some type of way about kinky coily hair…

anywhoo

During our conversation, she talked about many of the natural hair news that has occurred over the past few months (school policies banning afro puffs, natural students being teased, Sheryl’s comment, and etc.) and then told me that she hopes I relax my (future) daughters hair to shield her from such a harsh life.

[Insert flashback vignette] My mother relaxed my hair when I was six. Before that I had gone to a Haitian preschool with children who ‘looked’ like me, but once we moved to the suburbs I got relaxed and amassed a collection of those white ‘Just for Me’ cassette tapes (reach back to 1990 for that relic). My mother didn’t relax my hair because it was unmanageable; she did it so that my sister and I would ‘blend’ in with our American counterparts.

So I began to wonder… how many other moms hold this Darwinistic view towards relaxers? My mother made it seem like relaxing our hair increased our survival rate more than it reduced the amount of time she had to spend styling our hair. I don’t plan on being that type of mother. In fact, I don’t plan on relaxing my daughters hair at all. Now if she wants to wear her hair straight, we can discuss non-chemical alternatives, but relaxers shall be a non-factor until she’s grown.

Sheryl's comment struck a nerve with me because deep down there's a seed of self hate planted within her. Someone told her many mango seasons ago that her natural hair was nasty, causing that view to take root and grow. That comment was the fruit of that planted seed. And while her apology was necessary, it wasn't sincere. She may have killed that 'nasty natural tree' but the root hasn't been eradicated. I'm sure under those many weaves and wigs she wears is a head of such nasty hair being forced into submission by chemicals and heat. And if she is natural, (sigh) then I think it's time for some much needed self-reflection and acceptance. 

I normally rant on and on about my hair and stay out of social discussions, but one has to wonder how many children are picked on because of their natural hair, and what the implications will be later down the road as it relates to their self-esteem. How many will grow up to love their curls and how many will grow up to detest them? My heart hurts for those who will develop self-image issues. Although so many women have embraced their naturalness, Underwood’s remarks provide for a clear reminder that in our society only the silkiest survive. 

The Quest

If you've been a faithful reader, by now you're well aware of the fact that I do not like doing my hair. It pains me, yet ironically I'm on a mission to grow Sheeba to waist length (and beyond).

Enter 'The Quest'.

I plan on wearing my hair in a protective style 2-3 months at a time for a full year. This wasn't really planned, I sort of fell into this as my laziness increased, by the time I realized how how long I had hidden my hair, 4 months had lapsed. 

Kind of like finding out you're with child a full trimester in. (Bad reference? Sorry it was the only one that came to mind).

Anywhoo-

This all began in March with 'Sophia' my Brazilian Kinky Curly install (March- mid-May). Then I wore Sheeba in twisted up-dos from mid-May til June. I'm wearing 'Coco' my NHA Mongolian install for all of July, andI plan on welcoming August with Havana twists or faux locs... that'll be a game time decision.

I'm looking forward to doing my hair to not do my hair. You should join me...

Weavie Wonder

Every two months or so, I find a new protective style to hide my hair under. And every time I tell my family or my lovebug that I'm getting my hair 'did,' I always receive a similar reply: "Why?" or "You have all this beautiful hair, why do you cover it up with this fake stuff?"

I'd love to switch places with them for a few days, just so they understand the struggle I encounter when I wash and style my hair. 

I usually reply that I want to give my hair a rest from being constantly manipulated or because I'm getting tired of doing my hair regularly, but it's really because I want my hair to grow undisturbed. I have found that my hair sprouts when I've hidden it for 2-3 months at a time.

Over the past four years, I have worn braids, kinky twists, Senegalese twists, and sew-ins. As my hair

got longer I found it difficult to find someone in the DMV area to style my hair the way I liked at a reasonable price, so whenever I would go home to visit my mother, I also get my hair done by a close friend for the lowski-woahski.

But times have changed, and sometimes our schedules do not align as they once did, so I've taken to the mean streets of YouTube to teach myself the art of wig-making... I praise baby Jesus for wig tutorials, because they've revolutionized my protective style game. I have since revamped my Brazilian Kinky Curly (Sophia) and am in the process of wigging my Mongolian Kinky Curly to debut over the weekend using this tutorial. I'll update this post once I've installed my new hair.

Here are a few links and steps to get you started:

1. Purchase good quality hair, I use vendors from the UK/ France and LOVE not only the customer service but the price and quality. Desir Hair and EHM Hair Company have done me well. They have sales frequently so stalk their page before you buy. I also have Halley Curls in my stash for when I want a straight look. I have heard of people purchasing hair from Ali Express, and my only comment on that is you get what you pay for, so proceed with caution. Princess Hair Shop, Sheena's Emporium, Wagman's and etc. are also a few other places to look for hair. I now prefer purchasing curly hair since Sheeba's long and I don't want to worry about my braid pattern being ultra flat, but at the end of the day, I recommend buying what you can afford and will make you feel/look good.

2. Wash and SEAL SEAL SEAL your wefts prior to installing. Seal both sides, I made the mistake of only sealing one side of my Braz and had hair shedding daily. I use a combination of Dritz Fray Check and Aleene's Fabric Fusion. I seal one side with the Dritz, and the other with Aleene's. There's no real reason for my method, I just like having one side shiny and the other matte, ESPECIALLY when I'm working in the front of my wig.

3. Customize your wig head. The ones at the beauty supply store run for about $2.99, but since I have a big head I use packing tape to increase the circumference and nape size. Creating a wig head to the specs of your head make it easier to lay your tracks and ensure a proper fit.

4. Purchase a dome cap and wig clips. My first few attempts at wig making were with the netted wig cap, but it didn't really feel 'secure' when I wore it. I was in fear that my hair would fall off in the wind or if I had to sprint for the bus. Dome caps are tighter and make me feel like it's sewn in.

My next project (after the Mongolian KC wig) shall be fantastical, I've stalked the Internets and haven't seen one like it. Stay tuned loves, but until then... happy growing.

EDIT: 07/07/13 - As promised, here is my newest install 'Coco'. I followed the YouTube tut posted
above, but sewed it in a side part pattern instead of a side-swoop. My hair is braided underneath so I actually have no leave-out. I love her, she's soft, she's beautiful, she's Sheeba's twin if I was ever brave enough to rock a wash-n-go.

The Fall Out

I'm in the mood to write today, so you're getting a two for one special.

I love a good deal. Don't you?

I wanted to touch on a subject that's usually unspoken of in natural hair circles ( or at least in mine), and that is the unintentional dangers of being natural. While visiting my linesister the other day, she shared with me a story of how she almost fell out while washing her hair. While I stared at her in disbelief, it wasn't because of the shock associated with her story, but because I, too, have shared the same experience. Only, I actually fell out - several times - while washing my hair.

You see washing my hair with warm water creates a 'sauna-like' environment in my bathroom. And if I haven't eaten or drank a few cups of water prior to washing my hair, I get dizzy, and have on an unfortunate occasion or two fallen out in the bathroom.

No one talks about this side of being natural, no one shares their horror stories, no one warns newly napptural nubians of these 'dangers'.

Now while I have built upper arm strength washing, detangling, and twisting Sheeba, I have also strained my neck, aggravated lymph nodes in my neck, induced migraines from tight styles, slipped on conditioner in the tub and nearly blinded my self during ACV rinses. I'm actually laughing as I write this, but the natural plight is anything but funny.

While I have gotten better at reducing my life endangering washday encounters and washing my hair with cooler water to prevent steaming myself, as my hair gets longer, it's going to take longer to twist, thereby causing my wrists, fingers, and forearms to hurt. In comparison to my scalp being burned by heat and chemicals, I actually prefer the 'circuit training' Sheeba has  put me through.

Now if only I could hire a professional natural stylist. She'd be a life saver in every sense of the word.

Have you met Daniel?

I fast... a lot. For the past 10 years, I've fasted from certain foods during Lent. For the past year, I have made this a regular habit. Each month, I along with several people worldwide, complete a Daniel's Fast known as holdFAST during the first three days of the month. There have also been times throughout the year when I've completed 21 and 40 day Daniel's fasts and have planned out fasting menus for others.

For those unfamiliar with this type of fast, it's in reference to the Old Testament book of Daniel. In this piece of scripture, Daniel "ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine" (Daniel 10:2-3) for three weeks.  The fast itself requires that you only eat fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts and legumes. No dairy, no sugar, no meat. My rule of thumb is if it doesn't grow that way, I have no business eating it. I do, however, incorporate foods derived from allowable items (brown rice pasta, yellow corn meal, etc.)

If you're still reading and I haven't lost your attention, I bring up the subject of fasting because it not only has improved my walk with God and spiritual life, but has also improved my health.

Being that this is a hair blog, I wanted to share a side effect of having a plant based eating preference. When I stopped eating dairy, processed food, and meat and started eating fruits, veggies, and nuts/ legumes, my hair grew like weeds, my skin was soft, dewy, and clear, and I had tons of energy.

Throughout these past few years, I have met several who don't know when to fast, how to fast, or what to fast from. Fasting isn't impossible, it just takes discipline, (tons of) prayer, and strength. 

Not ready to take the plunge? Here are a few baby steps to get you on your way:

1. Begin by drinking half your weight in water daily (if you weight 10 lbs, drink 5 oz of water) or 64oz of water - whichever is greater. 

2. Once you've mastered drinking more water, move onto reading food labels to identify disallowed foods (you would be surprised at how man things contain processed sugar, cane juice, additives, and corn syrup).

3. Begin eating more leafy greens. I make my own salads and green smoothies with Romaine, Spinach, or Kale. If you ever move onto completing the full Daniels, or eating raw this will be your source of protein. 

Here's a sample weekly menu that I use, I'm a leftover fanatic so my dinners often double as lunch the next day. I don't measure when making my meals, and often google the recipes. If any dish piques your interest, I can provide my recipe.

Happy fasting, happy eating, happy living.

Washday Blues + Techniques ALL napturals should master

I live in our nations capital, where despite the abundance of Nubian napturals in the Mecca, the salon selection isn't as diverse (on the pockets) as one would think. I make an effort to have a stylist for every coif. I have a braider, a presser, a twister, an up-doer and a timmer on deck.

This search has taken four years, and if one were to move, my life would temporarily be in shambles.

Many natural stylists in this area charge by the hour, and the longer your hair, the heftier the charge, and that's fine, but what you WON'T do is complain about the length of my hair and proceed to take your time coifing it. So for the past two years, I would only visit a stylists chair if I have an event to attend and need something speedy, if I had just taken down braids, or weave and wanted someone else to fight with my hair, or if I needed a trim.

One thing that I have noticed as of late, is that the longer my hair grows, the more reticent my stylists are to do it. If I walk into a salon for the first time I promise the stylists all head to the back to draw straws, where the loser has to suffer through my hair. Dominican salons are notorious for telling me ' mami, you'r hair is too long,' as if that would cause me to walk out. My (former) braider once told me that Sheeba was 'too long for Senegalese twists' and that she was going to have to 'charge [me] extra for the style.'

So I told her to charge me whatever she needed to complete my style and never used her services again.

I have long hair, and your job is to style it... questions, comments, and concerns about anything other than the health of my hair can be kept to yourself. Have any of you experienced the same reaction?

Because of this treatment, I often take it upon myself to wash and style my own hair and experience for myself the washday blues. This past Sunday was washday, and I did the unthinkable by forgoing hopping into the shower and washing my hair in the sink instead. 


Judge away....

But I cut my wash time drastically. I normally am in the shower for 2 hours sectioning, 'shampooing', conditioning, detangling, (and deep conditioning if need be). But on Sunday I completed all of the above INCLUDING sitting under my Beheutiful steamer in 45 minutes.

Praise to the Most High for shampoo hoses like this one: 

I have my life back.

With my shampoo hose, Jilbere comb, and Clorox wipes to clean around the sink afterwards, my washday blues are now a distant memory.

I am actually excited to wash my hair now that it's no longer such a labor intensive chore.

On another note, I was talking (coaching) a friend the other day on how to coif her hair other than her usual puff, and it dawned on me that there are 3 techniques that I think all naturals should master as their hair grows in preparation for maintaining it.

1. Moisturizing - your growth goal will miserably fail if you do not properly moisturize your ends. They are the oldest part of your hair, take care and cherish them. Click here for a primer on my L-O-C method.

2. Two-Strand Twists - are to naturals as rice is to the Caribbean diet. It.is.ESSENTIAL to surviving. Many of your hair styles revolve around this basic technique. YouTube has a plethora of videos that can show you how to properly twist to achieve your dream twist-out, up-do, bun, etc. This is my go-to style. I can get a three-week break out of a twisted style:
Week 1: twists set on perm rods for a curly do
Week 2: curls have dropped so I can either pin them into an up-do, bun, or half up/half-down
Week 3: twist out, preserved by pineappling at night.

3. Flat twists - are another great way to achieve a twist out. I also create Goddess-twists with three flat twists gathered into a bun, or for an up-do. Again...let YouTube be your guide and spend a few minutes practicing.

Here's a mash-up of many of my go-to styles many of these are styles I have worn and styles I have created for others:

If you take the time to learn these techniques now, you'll be glad in the future when you're searching for an easy low manipulation style to rock for the week.

Happy learning my loves.

Kinky Curly Chicken & Beer

By now you all know that I don't put anything in my hair that I can not eat. But there comes a point in time where one must draw the line, and for me that line was drawn when a friend asked if I put Crisco in my hair.

My grandma's shortening?? No thank you.

I have spent months lurking in forums and reading up on using Crisco as a moisturizer, shampoo, deep conditioner, and etc. but I can not and will not bring myself to slather the white artery clogger on Sheeba. 

I don't want to smell like chicken (I'm being crass. I know the only way I would smell like a 2 piece and a biscuit is if I put used Crisco in my hair) and more importantly, I fear the havoc that would ensue on my skin. I would look like a pubescent 14 year old. Thinking of using the product might even cause a pimple.

No ma'am. No ham. No turkey. 

Now one secret weapon in my arsenal of 'natural' hair products is beer. Yes, you read that correctly. I rinse my hair with beer from time to time. 

This all began years ago after a house party. I throw large game nights in the summer and often have guests bring adult beverages. There's always tons of bottles left over, and being a wine/ brown liquor aficionado, I needed to find something to do with the cases of beer left under my dining room table. 

A few hours of research later, I was standing in the shower giving Sheeba a beer bath. She loves it and may be an alchy. My hair has become super soft as a result of beer rinses.

Beer is made from fermented hops and yeast. Which creates a host of benefits for dry hair. Beer has B vitamins like biotin that promote growth, protein, sugars to strengthen and boost shine, and if wheat based, volumizing properties. The list was enough to make me pop open a bottle and pour away. 

You're probably giving me the grandma side eye and wondering why I'd pour beer in my hair over Crisco. The same reason you use Miss Jessie's versus Carols Daughter... I prefer to. 

I have also read articles speaking to the benefits of beer on your skin. So next time you happen to have a few brews left around the house, or discover an old case in the back of your outside fridge, take a sip and give your hair a beer bath.